batfamcontentwar
by Wowza48
Summary: Look at tumblr. Search #batfamcontentwar. A shout out to camsthisky for the idea and making it an open invite. Might continue, might not.
1. Where is my boy?

Yeeeeeeahhhh I know I have a bunch of other fics and fic ideas but... school... and hey, at least I'm getting SOMETHING out, right?

As for what this is, well just search tumblr for #batfamcontentwar sometime on/after Monday, September 11th, 2017.

-NANA NANA NANA NANA BATMAN (BATMAN)-

Titus was a good dog. He knew that because his boy told him so, and is boy was smart! His boy was so smart, he knew what Titus' name was before Titus did, and that is amazing! His boy is always so sad and angry though. Why is his boy always so sad and angry? Actually, a lot of humans in his boy's home was sad, more so recently. They usually tried to hide it, but Titus was a good dog. He could tell. Good dogs can ALWAYS tell. But then again, Titus himself is sad too, because his boy hasn't come home yet, and the big glowing ball in the sky had went up and down lots of times already.

Titus was currently laying down on his boy's bed, kitty Alfred curled up against his side. Human Alfred was in the kitchen making good smells that taste good, however if he gets up Titus would wake up kitty Alfred, and as Titus is a good dog, he will not not get up and wake up kitty Alfred. Especially since kitty Alfred is a small, fragile thing. Just like his boy, which is why Titus is sad- because his boy isn't home. His sad, angry boy, who knew how to pet him just right unlike jumpy human who his boy really liked, and knew how to play with kitty Alfred better than weird smelling boy who needed more sleep that his boy pretended not to like, and how to talk to Batcow without scaring her unlike also weird smelling ball throwing human who smelt like burnt leaves and a smell that would of scared Titus if it did not remind him of his boy, and why hasn't his boy come back? He misses his boy.

Where is his boy?

-NANA NANA NANA NANA BATMAN (BATMAN)-


	2. Hood vs magician

-NANA NANA NANA NANA BATMAN (BATMAN)-

"So you threw him into a wall?" Nightwing asks, with a raised brow.

"What else was I supposed to do? He was creepy." Red Hood replies, breathing in his tobacco stick. "Didn't even notice him."

The blue themed vigilante shakes his head, before looking at the sprawled, upside down, unconscious form of John Constantine. "You're the one who told me he only wanted one of your cigarettes, Jay."

-NANA NANA NANA NANA BATMAN (BATMAN)-


	3. Unreliable Narrorator

-NANA NANA NANA NANA BATMAN (BATMAN)-

Cass and Steph were playing patty cake. Thats it, that's the story.

…. What? You actually want to know WHY they are playing patty cake? Fine, fine. They found some little kids that were in danger, and were entertaining them. What was that? Okay, fine, _Spoiler and Black Bat/Orphan/Whatever version or_ _ **timeline code name you prefer, okay?**_ were playing patty cake. ….. No, not with each other, with the little kids... I should of specified? What do you mean I should of specified?

Why they were entertaining the kids instead of going back on patrol? Isn't it obvious? Someone got an age regression raygun and zapped Damian and Tim into toddlers. Duh. Silly reader, not knowing these thi- WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S MY FAULT FOR NOT MAKING A BETTER STORY!? You know what, I'm blasting you into the next chapter! **A force suddenly slams into the reader, sending them spiraling backwards, and INTO THE STORY**

-NANA NANA NANA NANA BATMAN (BATMAN)-


	4. The reader lands on Damian

-NANA NANA NANA NANA BATMAN (BATMAN)-

"Oof!" A sound comes from below you. It is... what? Why is there some kid in a Robin costume under you? Weren't you just reading a terrible fanfic piece right now? "I swear if you do not get off of me this instance you plebeian I WILL stab you!"

That sounded suspiciously... Damian-y of the kid, and you decide to get off of him as to get a good look at him, comparing it to the comics and movies you have read and watched. Damian Al Ghul-Wayne stares right back at you, not yet having noticed his mask had fallen off when you landed on him, due to his anger. Something tells you that you are not going to have a good time.

-NANA NANA NANA NANA BATMAN (BATMAN)-


	5. Because it needed to be done

-NANA NANA NANA NANA BATMAN (BATMAN)-

"How did he-"

"Because he's Batman."

"But that was-"

"Because he's Batman."

"That's not-"

"Because he's Batman."

"There needs to be more of an expla-"

"Because he's Batman."

"Would you sto-"

"Because he's Batman."

"IF you don't stop I'll KILL YOU!"

"No you won't."

"And how exactly do you figure that!?"

A dark shadow looms from behind the crazed man. His stoic conversation partner simply replies. "Because he's right behind you."

-NANA NANA NANA NANA BATMAN (BATMAN)-


	6. Halloween week Theme 1: Autumn

Batfam Content War: Halloween week edition: First Prompt Autumn

 _((Batman might be the dark (k)night, but his Robin is the scattered leaves of fall. Or, how Robin's traffic light colored costume is actually good camouflage in the right settings. But, sometimes, it's not always a good thing… and sometimes it's plain funny._ ))

—-

"Robin! Robin where are you?!" Batman hissed quietly, looking desperately around for his _ward/partner/sidekick/_ _ **son**_ to no avail. They had fought Scarecrow, in a plot of trees a bit outside of Gotham City proper and the GCPD just took him away when he noticed the young bird themed hero was missing. The orange, red and yellow surroundings made it impossible to pick up sight of the small boy, and it caused fear to clutch his heart in away Crane's toxin never could truly grasp.

It was only after walking a few more feet that he heard the whimpering. He rushed towards the sound, using his sense of sound to notice when he finally reached the source. "Oh Dicke…" The man murmured, kneeling down next to the fear gripped boy, clearly under the effects of fear toxin. Perhaps a delayed one, as he seemed fine while they were waiting for the GCPD to arrive. The bat picks up his bird, and carries him back to the Batmobile. "It's okay. I got you."

—-

He was going to KILL that kid! "Come out, come out, where ever you are~" The clown prince of crime chimed, trying to find the current boy blunder. He set up this little hoo haw as separated from himself as he could so as to keep Batman from realizing it was him behind it, otherwise he'd of kept the new boy out of it, most likely because he wasn't "ready" to meet his "Uncle" Joker. While it worked, and he got the costumed rodent and his baby bird separated, the brat got a good gut shot in with a metal pipe, or was it a crow bar? Either way, it allowed the brat to escape into the foliage, which he just noticed matched the kid's costume quite well- not as well as blood splatters would, of course, but still, it made it hard to find him.

Turns out, that also included looking right at the kid, too, since he just turned away from that direction when *BLAM*, right in the back. And he knew it was the brat too, since Batsy just came from in front of him.

Yup, he was going to kill that kid alright. And he was going to use that crowbar to do it! … or was it a pipe? Whatever, either way he'd include a bomb of some kind… and a hostage! Yeah, that would be hilarious! Oooh, oooh, and what about it being in-

—-

"Guys, where'd Rob go?" Impulse, also known as Bart Allen, asks, wondering where Robin, aka Tim Drake was. He could of SWORN the guy was right there a moment ago. Wonder Girl and Secret also looked around, startled at where he went, but Superboy just raises an eyebrow.

"Dude, relax, he's right here, see?" He points at what at first looks like just a pile of leaves but- no wait, that's green- "ROB!" Impulse screams, waking the young detective jerk awake from his nap.

—-

"Robin, come in. I still have your signal but you appeared to have vanished from the cams, are you alright?" Oracle, aka Barbra Gordon, the original Batgirl asked over the coms.

"What do you mean, O? I'm right in front of the camera." The current Robin, Steph Brown replies, waving up to said camera.

"No, still don't see you."

Steph frowns… then starts dancing the Funky Chicken.

"Wait, I think I see-… are you dancing the-"

"Okay, you can see me now, continuing the mission bye!"

—-

"-I'm just saying I don't know how you even began to think that outfit could even begin to be stealthy, Grayson. At least my cloak and hood have an outer black layer so as to blend into the darkness." Damian, the 5th and current Robin, states.

"Well Lil D, you'd be surprised how good this was at hiding me in leaves during Autumn. Any of us, actually." Richard John Grayson, original Robin, recently returned Nightwing, and formerly the 2nd Batman AND Agent 37 of Spyral, grins. "You should ask the other's about some of their stories some time. Anyway, one time-"


End file.
